This blog serves to provide a few things for anyone that may come across it. It's a way for me to share my experiences in the gay community ever since coming out at age 19. It's also an outlet I'll have to show my progress as I begin to start working out again after a very long hiatus. I'm hoping that with the support of my loving boyfriend and all my followers I can get to looking the way I have wanted to my whole life. Your compliments are always appreciated and I'll try my best to answer any questions you guys have. Big hugs and tugs!
My interest in leather and bdsm began 2 years ago when I ended my 2 and a half year relationship with my ex (still great friends though! ). We had been monogamous and do for the first time since I came out I was able to play the field.
I had always thought about role playing and kinky scenarios but I knew of only one friend in Madison who could potentially help me see them through. I contacted him and arrangements were made. I came over with my jock on under my clothes, talked for a while with him and ultimately told him he had free reign to try anything on me he felt I’d be comfortable with. I knew him since I met my ex, so I trusted him.
Almost 5 hours later I can only suffice to say that my mind had been blown. Collar, sling, e stim, ass play, nipple clamps, ice, and a lot of daddy/son talk were just a few things that I experienced that day. I was instantly hooked and wanted only for my limits to be pushed, mentally and physically.
Into early August I continued chatting with people and felt my self esteem slowly rebuilding itself. It was comforting to see all these guys that had the same sexual orientation I did. I had this misconception in my head that our population was small and very secluded, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I started talking with a guy from Stoughton, about 15 minutes away from where I live, and it was such an odd feeling I had. I thought to myself, “here’s this guy who is just like me and he’s only 15 minutes away.” I could see him right now if I wanted to. The thought of meeting him, however, scared me to death. I pictured the whole horror movie scene where he locks the door and starts laughing maniacally. It took me a few weeks more of chatting with him to assure myself he wasn’t a pyschopath, but I did eventually meet and talk with him. I also had my first sexual experience that day as well. I won’t go into detail, but I left feeling horrible, yet somehow enlightened in a sense. I called one of my best friends that I met on World of Warcraft to tell him.
He was actually the first person I ever came out to, only a few weeks before meeting with the guy in Stoughton. I had heard rumors that he was going to quit wow, which saddened me immensely, so I asked if I could talk with him in a separate ventrilo channel on headset. I don’t know that I have ever experienced such a large feeling of relief in my life other than that moment. I honestly can’t even describe the emotions. It just felt amazing that someone else I trusted knew, and still thought the world of me.
One day in early July I decided to make a profile on Biggercity.com. Some of you may be familiar with this chub chaser community website. When I was younger I had used it for, well, inspiration, but as I began accepting my sexuality I thought it might be nice to join a site where I could talk to others.
I took my first real selfie ever (wish I could find the original photo!) and made my profile. Wolfman88. What came next was something I honestly never fathomed would happen. Within the next few weeks I was getting tons of compliments from members in all sorts of locations around the world. I had never ever gotten any sort of positive attention like that in my entire life. I can’t really explain how good it felt to have someone say I was hot or cute or any number of nice things. I had grown so accustomed to being unnoticed that it took a while for me to even register what was going on. All I can say is that it was an incredibly good feeling.